Dear Kate
by inspire.me
Summary: Please read, this is my 1st NCIS fic so be kind! PostTwilight, but a different approach. Tony writes a letter to Kate, in an attempt to finally let her go. A onepart story.


Ok so this is my first and probably only NCIS story, and I haven't seen every episode, so forgive me if I'm a bit out of character or something. I'd really appreciate feedback so please tell me what you think!

And I don't own NCIS, or any other television program. _Television_ owns _me_. Consider yourself disclaimed.

* * *

I can see the stars up in the sky, it's late and the streets are empty. The night is still and I'm outside, caught in the stillness. The world around me is calm, and there's beauty in the calmness. I can feel you near me.

I never saw the importance of letter writing. I always felt like mail was for bills and magazine subscriptions. However, now I'm sending a letter, in what could be the most meaningful experience of my life. Maybe I'll even write another letter some day, but one at a time and this letter is for the sky. Taking it out of my pocket, I unfold the pages. I wrote the letter not too long ago, but long enough ago to have read it before going to bed each night for almost two weeks. The words get only more and more true each time I read them.

However, letters are for sending, and so that's what I must do tonight.

Looking at the pages I'm holing in my hands, I read the letter one last time.

_Dear Kate,_

_Seconds melt into minutes, and minutes melt into hours. Hours melt into days, days without you here with me. 'Shocked' doesn't even begin to describe how I felt at that devastating moment, a moment I relive every day Of course I wish that it didn't have to happen. I'd give anything to have you here. I dream of memories, simple times we shared. Teasing each other, laughing, I even remember us once having a small-scale food fight. You may never know just how many times I've wished to hear your voice again, telling me I'm immature, or to see your face just one more time and to have you smile at me, or even look at me with anger._

_I hope you know that I love you so very much. I've always loved you, our relationship was different, that's all. And it's my fault it had to be like that. My endless string of meaningless relationships had changed me, and that's not what you deserved. Please know it was because I loved you that we couldn't have a relationship. You're special, Kate, and I couldn't make you like every other girl. You knew that, right?_

_As moments pass without you here, I find it unfair that the world does not seem to mourn your loss. In fact, it's like the world couldn't care. You were just one woman, but you meant to the world to the people who cared about you. I am a better person simply by knowing you. You gave me so much and for that I'm forever thankful._

_You mean so much to me, and I'll remember you forever. I'll remember the way you talked and the way you smiled._

_Whenever I see beauty, I'm reminded of you, because you are more beautiful than anything I've ever seen._

_I'm going to send this letter to the sky, because that's where the angels are. I'm sure you're fitting in perfectly there. Just don't forget about us. I'll never forget you, none of us will. All we have to do is keep your memory alive and then you won't ever truly be gone._

_Wishing you all the best,_

_Anthony Dinozzo_

As I wipe the tears from my eyes, I fold the pages back up. This is it; I just pray with all my might that this doesn't have to be goodbye. I pray that I can make it through this, but at the same time, I never want to forget your smile, and the way your eyes would light up as you laughed. I hope that one day I can remember you with happiness, and not grief. I was so lucky to have known you, and you have to know how much I really did care, and will always care.

Grabbing the lighter in my pocket, I look up at the sky. I can see the stars. They're beautiful and I realise how important it is that you receive my letter to know that you're beautiful, more beautiful than the starry night. And it's not just that you're pretty, but that you're a beautiful person with a perfect heart and a golden spirit. You touched the lives of everyone who was lucky enough to know you. How have to know how much you'll be missed.

You're missed already.

Paper in one hand, lighter in the other. As the flames lick the letter, I drop it onto the empty road before me. I watch as the folded paper is swallowed up by the flames, the letter turning into ash, flying away on its journey to you in the sky.

The small fire is dying, and a thin line of smoke drifts upwards, spiralling higher and higher.

It's a moment of intense clarity, and it's now that I realise that while through your life you brought me happiness, it was through your death that you set me free, saving me from myself, and taught me how to truly live.


End file.
